Resta In Pace "J"

I got some disturbing news the other day that a friend died. We weren’t close but there was this great comraderie that carried over after working together in a show. We first met at a workshop, saw each other again later at a class and then we ended up performing together. As we got to know each other through rehearsing our show, we discovered random things about each other. “J” and I had decided we were “sisters of fashion” because we had similar tastes in clothing and shoes. We shopped at some of the same boutiques around town but our paths had never crossed. As time past, we would just laugh when one of us would wear something and the other would say, “I have that in blue!” or “Did you get that at store “X or Y?”

“J” was one of my favorite people amongst a group of women where too much estrogen was very tough at times. “J” couldn’t have been a more positive and she was the person one could count on to get something done. She was a gentle soul. I often thought she gave too much of herself to others; but perhaps she saw the good in them that I wasn’t able to see. There were a number of times we had written to each other and said “we have to make a plan for lunch or tea.” I lost touch with “J” for a while; however I knew she was working creatively with another friend from our “estrogen group.” I was so happy to personally hear from her last month when she invited me to the Opening of her boyfriend’s art gallery. I had a previous engagement and I couldn’t make it to the Opening. Who knew that it would be the last contact I would ever have with “J” in this lifetime.

When I received the terrible news, I struggled processing the words that I read in this email. Selfishly, I was filled with great sadness and regret that not one of our lunches ever happened. Looking back, I took it for granted that there would be time to catch up. I had every intention of making that “tea date” now that we had connected once again. Too little too late…. The disturbing part is that no one really knows how “J” died. It was said by “E” that she “slipped” off a 10th floor balcony. How does one just “slip” from a 10th floor balcony? In this day and age balconies in apartments are built to prevent “accidental slips.” It was also said that “J” had been depressed. I’m sure her family and close friends can’t fathom that “J’ was so troubled and no one close to her knew of the darkness she had inside of her. “J” didn’t leave a note; therefore no one will ever really know what happened. I guess she didn’t feel that she owed any explanations anymore to anyone for what she decided to do with her life. I ask myself, could anyone have made a difference??

What does one think about before they make that final decision to take their life?? In some religions, it’s considered a sin to take your own life. Is it considered illegal in the USA?? I remember while living in Japan, I saw a man jump into the River and try to take his life. He didn’t succeed; however he was treated like a criminal who had just robbed a bank versus someone who was deeply troubled. For those the individual leaves behind; they are left with so many unanswered questions. I keep wondering “WHY J?” It’s a selfish act. “J” was anything but selfish. I could spin this a thousand times in my mind but in the end, it doesn’t change the outcome of what we have to accept in time…. “J” is gone.

This tragic act was a wake-up call to remind myself to follow through with those intended “lunches or gatherings” with friends. No one knows how much time is left on this earth. Resta In Pace “J.” Sono felice di averti conosciuta. Spero di rivederti un giorno…..

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